Imagine if a person could know almost everything about you by simply looking at you. He could tell your profession by looking at your hands and wrists. He could tell where you were from by your dress and speech. He could tell what you like to eat and drink from your teeth and lips. With little effort he could know your deepest secrets and know you better than your best friend.
These are the attributes of Sherlock Holmes, a fictional private detective from turn of the century literature. Holmes may at times have seemed like a super hero with a near omniscient power of the criminals he chased, but his abilities were based on real skills that are honed by real-life detectives every day.
The act of Observing
There are myriad aspects of human behavior, too many to observe and record comprehensively in real time. However, it’s because of this massive amount of information that we can tap into an experience. Of all the different types of communication, verbal communication provides people with the greatest control. Many people feel safer communicating through email or text message rather than speaking in-person because they are nervous about the messages that their involuntary body language and facial expression will convey.
Physical Characteristics
Physical characteristics include factors such as height, weight, body type, hair color, eye color, complexion, and so on. There’s quite a bit that you can glean about a person’s general lifestyle by looking at these characteristics. For example, a person with a muscular build is likely to exercise on a regular basis. A person with fair skin probably doesn’t spend much time in the sun. Health of the hair and skin can provide hints as to the food that a person eats and whether they smoke. These are all clues that are part of an overall puzzle. Keep these lifestyle factors in mind when you are forming your questions and interpreting answers, it’s not unusual for lifestyle to shape product usage.
Personal Style
Personal style tells you more about a person’s lifestyle and also their values. Observing a person’s hair and clothes can tell you how the person wants to be perceived by the world. A woman with a glamorous hair style that’s reminiscent of a Hollywood movie star is a person that cares about her appearance and is willing to spend money to achieve it. On top of that, it’s reasonable to think that she has the means to pay for expensive hair care. A man wearing a suit during the day probably has a job in which he interacts with clients that are considering spending a significant amount of money. A person wearing tight-fitting athletic gear is very likely to spend some time at the gym or some other physical activity. There are a variety of different aspects of a person’s lifestyle that can be gleaned from their personal style, it’s important to be aware of these things and think about what these observable characteristics tell you about the person.
Body Language
Body language is great for gauging a person’s mood and comfort level. A person that’s comfortable will seem relaxed, maybe he’ll slouch a bit in his chair, his arms and legs will be uncrossed and open. A person that’s uncomfortable will be sitting up straight and changing position often, fidget, and cross his arms in front of him. A person that’s interested and engaged will lean forward, literally on the edge of her chair; her body will be oriented toward the point of interest. A person that’s feeling sad will seem to droop down, her head will hang, her eyelids will be heavy, and her shoulders will slump. Use these clues adjust your communication. Try to make someone nervous feel more at ease, recognize that a person that’s relaxed will communicate with you more freely, and tread lightly around intense emotions like sadness or anger all of these actions will help you to build rapport and maximize the amount of information you can get from a research session.
Facial Expression
Facial expressions, like body language, can provide specific information about a person’s emotional state. Unlike body language, some elements of facial expression are wholly involuntary and respond almost instantly to the person’s immediate experiences. It takes quite a bit to learn all of the different microexpressions, but if you do, you can function like a human lie detector and more. Rather than drudge all of the myriad different types of facial expressions and their underlying meaning, I’ll direct you to the foremost authority in the world, Dr. Paul Ekman. Dr. Ekman has spent decades studying facial expressions and produced some easy to consume training programs, I highly recommend this program (http://face.paulekman.com/default.aspx) to anyone that is more interested in understanding the people around you. This website is AMAZING.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that observing these elements of non-verbal communication provide clues to what is going on for a person. Be cautious and don’t jump to conclusions based on what you see. Instead, use your communication skills to verify anything that you see. If a person’s wearing a Billabong shirt, rather than assuming that the person is surfer, say something like “Nice shirt, do you like to surf.†The person’s response will tell you if she is really a surfer or if she borrowed the shirt from her sister. The active listening skills we discussed in our previous post can provide you with guidelines to responding to emotional states. These skills are powerful and extremely useful, you’ll find by using them that it will seem that the world will open up and every experience will seem richer.
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