Studying Eyes

What Are Your Eyes Giving Away?

References are made to our eyes in everyday conversation such as ‘don’t give me those puppy dog eyes’, ‘giving me the evil eye’ and many more such phrases.Your eyes can tell a lot about you and tell others even more simply by the way you use them.  Eye communication is a great skill to have and eye contact is a great tool to master.  We all use it and we all give away vital clues as to what we are thinking with our eyes.

If you can learn the skill of reading eye signals and mastering the art of using eye contact it can make a huge difference in your personal and business life.

The Pupils

Your pupils and the size of them will give away a lot of secrets, and it’s something we can’t do much about. The pupils will either constrict or dilate depending on our state of mind. If we are aroused by something, or someone, our pupils will dilate and if we are turned off by something or someone our pupils will constrict.

Skilled street traders across the world look for the size of the pupils when bartering with their customers. If a customer sees an object and their pupils are fully dilated, then the trader knows they can keep the price of the item at the higher end.

When we are excited, our pupils will dilate, and when we are in the company of someone we don’t like, our pupils will constrict.

Wandering Eyes
Have you ever noticed when you are talking to someone that their eyes are looking everywhere and not at you. This in itself is an obvious sign of distraction or boredom however, it also means that the person is looking for a way to get out of your space. Looking out a window when someone is talking to you could mean they would rather be outside.

If you do this, be careful of the signals you are giving to the other person, unless you specifically want them to know you don’t want to be with them.

The Angry Eyes

When we are angry our eyes become narrower, brows are furrowed and our pupils constrict. It’s quite easy to tell if someone is angry when they have all of the above. what if they don’t show the above body language signals? Well, we have to look for other body language clues such as constriction of the lips, flared nostrils, staring, clenching of the jaw etc.
When you are speaking to someone who is displaying signs of anger you can either back down or stand up for yourself, depending on what the situation warrants.
If you stand up for yourself you should be holding eye gaze and not break it. This shows the other person that you are not intimidated by them. If you are the one to break eye contact in a heated argument you have all but lost the argument.

Your Gaze

When we are talking to our friends and in social situations, and are looking and talking with another person for some time we unconsciously gaze at the persons face in a controlled manner. However, if we have lost confidence or we are not yet socially adept we can lose this ability.  Here is a quick guide on where to focus your gaze when talking to someone.

Social Gazing

When you are speaking in a social setting you don’t want to stare into someone’s eyes as this is a bit strange for someone to do, and a bit off-putting for the talker. To get over this, use a triangle approach. First look at one eye of the talker, then look at their mouth, briefly, and then move onto their other eye. This shows you are still interested in what they have to say as you have not looked away from their face.

The Controlling Gaze

If you are looking to intimidate someone when you are talking to them, or are trying to control the conversation look at the area known as ‘the third eye’ which is the spot just between the eyebrows.

 

Can you tell if someone is lying with their eye movements?

Short answer to that is no. However, by looking at other body language signals and looking at their eyes you can get a good idea if someone is lying or not.

With the work of Bandler and Grinder and their excellent work on NLP we have an idea of how our eye movements relate to how we access information from the brain, which can help to tell is someone is lying or not.

Visual Accessing Cues

(VC) Visual Construction : Looking up and to the left.  The person is accessing information from their imagination and might possibly be making it up.  For example, if you asked someone what their dream home would look like they would, more than likely, look up and to their left.

If someone is lying about something and making stories up they might be using this eye movement.

(VR) Visual Remembering : Looking up and to the right.  This is when we are actually accessing a memory and picturing it in our heads.  It is more than likely that this is a memory that actually happened.  Ask your friend what they had for dinner yesterday and they will most likely look up and to the right.

(AC) Auditory Construction : Looking middle and to the left. This is where our eyes might go if we were constructing a sound in our mind.  For example if you asked a friend to think of what their voice will sound like when they are 80 years old, they would more than likely look in this direction.

(AR) Auditory Remembering : Looking middle and to the right.  This is where our eyes might go if you were remembering a sound that you have heard before. 

(K) Kinesthetic :Looking down and to the left.  This is the direction your eyes might go if you were accessing your actual feelings about something. 

(AD) Auditory Digital : Looking down and to the right.  This is the direction our eyes might go when we are talking to ourselves.  We do this all the time and it is called self talk. 

The information above represents the majority of people, but it may be different for some.  However, it is still possible to work out a persons representational system by observing them when you ask them questions.